I am usually terrible about taking time off for the holidays. I made an effort, this year, to take at least a few days to be as relaxed and task-free as possible.
I wanted to make some space for woolgathering, reflection, laughter, for time to sink into a sense of free time. I wanted to enjoy some things I don't manage to enjoy as often as I'd like, foods I like to eat, things I like to do.
I like to do creative things - write, draw, make music - and I wanted the space to feel like I could do those things - for fun, not as a task on a checklist.
(I wrote a song once that contains the lines,
I remember days when music flowed like water
I remember it was effortless and fun
I think there's value in doing the work to get better at creative things - practicing scales, learning new techniques, revising drafts - but I also remember times when I wrote songs just because it was fun. It's harder to get to that place these days.)
I've been listening to In Our Time at bedtime to keep myself from obsessing about everything that's wrong in the world, and one of the episodes is about the sonnet. I thought: "I could write a sonnet!"
So I did.
Sonnet for a Christmas Break
No work today: no paying bills, no chores,
No catching up on all the deadlines missed,
No airport lines, no cars, no crowded stores,
No slogging through the never-ending list,
No post-last-minute details to get done,
No frazzled rush, all overwhelmed and stressed,
No forced familiar manufactured fun,
No obligations. This day is for rest.
Indulging in whatever I'd like most:
Some Mister Rogers, kittens in a heap;
long hugs, warm kringle, cocoa, buttered toast;
Then special pizza, barleywine, and sleep.
Breathe in, and let a respite find you here:
a stillness at the turning of the year.
It took a little time to get going - I hadn't written poetry for months, and I'm not sure when I last wrote a sonnet (have I ever?), but after I started, I took a walk, and my brain started suggesting lines and rhymes and images. I love when that happens. I love how that works.
I'm pleased with how it came out. I like it. (It's really nice to like something you wrote. So many of the artists on Racer Records disliked most of their own work, and that always made me sad.)
And I'm especially glad to have those images in my head, to remind me, throughout the year, of things I want more of in my life: Mister Rogers, kittens, hugs, toast.
I am lucky to have had a bit of time when I could let myself write something just for fun.
And I am lucky to have plenty of toast and cocoa on hand, whenever I want.
The image is Woman at a Writing Table by Torii Kiyomasu, courtesy of the wonderful Rijksmuseum